Life (R.I.P E KENT)

     Today was probably one of the saddest day of my school life. Why? because today a boy name siow e kent had passed away. I only got to know this morning when they announced that he passed away which subsequently we have one minute of silent as a respect to him. Althought i dont know much about him but still somehow i felt very down because i felt that its not fair at all! as i just felt like sitting at one corner being alone not talking to anyone.

     I mean we CF had been praying for him that he will recover and able to survive pass his birthday which he did(miracle) but still he went off althought the doctor had lost hope on him and said it will be a miracle if he manage to survive throught his birthday which he did but still i felt devastated. It really triggered a question in my mind that Why God like to take all the good people away? does it mean that all good people will not live long??? I know that i dont deserve to question God's plan but seriously i wana know the answer( how i wish God could tell me). E Kent's death really reminded me of my late uncle who passed away 3 years ago. He was a great person, a very charitable person who is always there to help whenever we needs him but still he passed away just few days after his birthday :'(. I mean what is God trying to do? Does He likes to take all good people away? Is anyone's guessing.

     Nonetheless, E Kent's death had really left a huge impact on everyone including those who dont know him. His will and determination to continue fighting until the end against his sickness is something that everyone should be proud of and also because of him all of us had appreciate our life even more. He had truly opened our eyes about our life as life is so short we dont know when we or the people around us is gona go off so why not we start to appreciate our life and people around us instead of complaining like nobody's business?

     As to E Kent, well i wana say R.I.P and thank you as you had truly opened our eyes but selfishly all of us(including those who doesnt knows you) we love you with all our hearts and souls. We know that you had finished your race with a victory and now you are with God up there in heaven celebrating your victory with full joy. Well we are really jealous of you as you are in heaven now but still we love you and hope to see you soon.

God bless you

What do I really want?

     What do i really want in my life? This is the question that had been running in my mind for the past few weeks. In fact i asked myself a couple of times before What do i really want in my life? The answer is I dont know at all. I mean i am now Form 5 which in normal case most of us already knows what we really want in our life except for me la of course.

     So what do i actually want in my life? Well lets see if you talk about fame the first thing that came into my mind is what for having fame when i prefer to live peacefully? The fact is since i am being brought up in a well-educated family and being the only grandson and the youngest of the family its really hard to answer as i usually get what i want(pampered child). I remember my sister asked me this question last time after i got my PMR result which i did badly of course that what do i really want in my life? whats the purpose of studying?. She asked me to think properly during bedtime and tell her the answer the next morning which both of us forgot about it of course(FAIL!) but not until last week where i realised i got lectured 5 times in that week! somehow that question just popped out in my mind.

     What do i really want in my life? What am i finding/looking for in my life?? Do i plan to be a loser/dumbass or instead i plan to be a successful person???. Speaking about that, me being brought up by a well-educated family is definitely not easy as the pressure on me is enornimous as all my cousins and uncles are all PURE SCIENCE students except for me who is the only dumb-dumb being in ARTS STREAM. The fact is i had been carrying the "underachiver" tag through my life until i didnt realise how dumb i am compare to my cousins.

So what exactly am i looking for in life? Do i want a career? or do i want a beautiful and cherishable wife? or do i want a happy and heart-warming family where i can always go back after work knowing that my wife and kids will be at home waitng for my return to have dinner with them eating the food cooked by my wonderfull wife (how i wish) or do i just wana live a happy life being single and play around with girls? or do i just wana be continueing being an ASSHOLE humiliating the family? This are te things that had gone through my mind but still the answer is I DONT KNOW. I even did a "mini survey" within a few of my friends, some of them wanted money(rich) some of them wanted fame, some of them even wanted an easy-going life. Well i have to say all of this mean NOTHING to me at ALL as i dont find these things important to me. Not long ago , i asked God what exactly i want in my life? what exactly am i searching for??? now when i come to think back i realised that its meaningless to ask God because He is not us althought He is the one that understands us the most but still how we gona walk our "path" is all in our hands as God is just the one that guide us as we walking through the "path". I remember there is a malay saying "pukul dada tanya selera" noone but ourself knows what exactly we are finding for in life.

Well not until when i realised what exactly i want in life i think i will still be the same person i am now(which i am). Only time will tells as i find out what exactly i want in life well until then. Bye bye

God bless you 

SPM result

    The SPM result came out two days ago.It was the day where we see and get to meet our seniors(CF Seniors FTW!) who is back to get or to see their hardwork for the year. It was also a day where tears of joy/sadness of even screams that was expected to be "unleashed". As all the ex-form 5s waited nervously for their result who is of course came in late (MALAYSIA TIME MAH) they managed to catch-up with each other about their latest whereabouts as we "student" went to "kepo" around and catching up with some of the seniors. This result is particularly important as it could "make or break" an individual future.

     As the results came out I heard screams and saw tears flowing down their face as some of them did brillantly and some of them didnt. It really made me wonder what will my emotion be when i take my results come next year. Will it be sad of sorrow? or will it be tears of joy? I really have no answer for it as I myself doesnt dare to inmagine at all but all i can say is we will just wait and see what happens as I always believe that EVERYTHING happen for a reason whether or not it happens because God want us to learn or to realise. I had always wonder is really our future lies on this result slip? or its just a mere paper for us to keep for the rest of our life?. Many people had told me that SPM is unlike PMR as PMR is just a mere paper compare to SPM but the question is : is this SPM result really decides our future or path? its really anyone guessing.

     Nonetheless i just want to wish Congratulations to whoever that got good result as now the sky is your limit and you are one step closer to your dream or "desired path" but as for those who didnt do well dont be dissapointed as the journey is still long you just need to put the foot down and work hard as God will always be with you!

God bless you :)

CF

    
     CF cf cf .This is just what i am thinking right now. The fact is CF had been an influential part of my life althought i only joined back in june 2010(after CF camp) but still through CF i had grown up tremendoesly . I still remember back in form 1 when this teacher called MR JACOB somehow came to know me and he started asking me to attend CF which i didnt(mistake). Why?because i need to go to tuition, and stuff(excuses) and also i wasnt been touched or been called upon by God so therefore i wasnt really into cf at all until last year(june) when i received news that the CF Camp registration dateline was just within a week and something had just hit me that i feels like going so therefore i asked from Mr M(you know who you are) for the form but not until the last two days when Mr M called me and asked me about wether or not i am going as for the past few days i am kinda busy with things so therefore i totally forgot about it.


     I immediately comfirmed with my parents and they said yes(thank god) so therefore off i go to CF camp :).I really had no idea what to expect as this is the first time i am going for a camp so yeah i felt freaking nervous but thank god i managed to "open up" myself  and the camp turned out to be AWESOME! why? because not only i managed to get to know a bunch of great people but also i got to know HIM as He had managed to touched me althought at the very beginning of the camp i dont expect anything at all. From then on, i started to get myself active in CF because i realised how important He is to me and personally i wanted to say 'thank you' but i dont know how. Then here comes SYATP i was given head of grounds and guess what it was also the first job(responsibility) i got in school so yeah i felt freaking nervous but thank God i got the help of Mr I  who is the head of grounds for the same event last year. He had assisted me in handling my job so therefore in a way i managed to do the job(did badly) but still it had been such a joy to work for Him.


      Few months later, I was put into the CF committee for grounds and guess what i am really Really surprised as i just only joined CF not long ago and i did my job badly for SYATP but still i managed to get in to the committee! How i managed to get in?i have completely no idea but all i can say is maybe its God plan?. Here i am being the head of grounds i think i did my job perfectly(got some mistake lah of course) but it had been a JOY working for HIM. In fact now when i come to think back what IF Mr M did not called me that day(few days before dateline) i would still being "lost" and without receiving His GOOD NEWS so yeah i am really thankful that Mr M called me and again maybe its just God's plan perhaps?:)



     Nonetheless, it had been an incredible few months since i started to know Him and when i think back now maybe its just His plan perhaps?for me to get into CF and subsequently i get to know a bunch of AWESOME people who is always there to help whenever i need them. I realised that the CF committee is not just a committee but instead we are a ONE BIG FAMILY! so therefore i would say that joining the CF had been one of the greatest things that ever happened to me because throught CF i started to socialise more and i learned a lot of "value" that i will never ever forget. Hence i want to say THANK YOU to HIM for giving me such a chance to be part of this ONE BIG FAMILY : )



   God bless you :)

blogs

    Blog..what is blog? well last time i used to think blogging is just a waste of time why?because whats the point of writing too much on the blog when you know you can use the time on games and stuff(that was last time) but now i think blogging is fun(eating my own words) because thru blogging you can express yourself as in views on recent activities and stuff so yeah now i am into this...but what really triggered me into creating a blog?Well i think i have to talk about what really happened during CNY

   This year CNY was the WORST CNY i EVER had..why?because the day before 1st day of CNY i accidentally ate an expired yogurt(stupid me!). The night itself i started vomiting and going to the toilet.This continues for the next two days and guess what its was the worst two days of my life! as the amount of time of me vomiting and going to the toilet is countless.I cant go visiting at all as i am having food poisoning (i guess) but luckily my good for-nothing sister took the angpow on my behalf so yeah i got angpow without visiting... hehe.On the third day i had slightly recovered but still i cant go visiting :(...later that midnight i felt there is a sharp pain towards my stomach so my parents decided to send me to the hospital.

   In the hospital i waited nervously for the doctor and i am so scared because my dad said i got appendix(need to operate). True enough after the doctor(MO) checked my blood and X-ray he said i got appendix and i have to stay in the hospital for the night while waiting for a doctor(specialist) to check my body again the next day to decide wether or not i need an op. I was so scared as this is the first time i am staying overnight in the hospital as a patient. I even took my sister's walkman while lying down on the bed because i am just so scared that i got appendix and guess what i prayed and listening to gospels.

  I am just so scared until i resort to praying to God and hope that He could do something!. I prayed to Him that He could decide wether or not i need to get op. I even promised Him that if i didnt get appendix i would take care of myself and also create a blog to tell how great He is(lame rite?). I prayed and prayed as thats the only thing i could do and hope for.The next morning when the doctor came and checked my body she said i can go discharged now and guess what i couldnt believe at all as i even asked her a couple of time are you serious?? i didnt get appendix???? and she said yes and i tell you i was sooooo happy. I am happy not because i can discharge but instead i am happy is because it has once again proved that God is there with me as he had answered my prayer (yay!!!!).

   As i was out of the hospital and resting at home i heard from people that the CF had prayed for me during their prayer meeting and i feel touched and i want to say THANK YOU to all of them as all of them are great people :). As for the blog i had forgottened it all together until now i remembered the promised...now here i am :)

God bless you! :)