What do i really want in my life? This is the question that had been running in my mind for the past few weeks. In fact i asked myself a couple of times before What do i really want in my life? The answer is I dont know at all. I mean i am now Form 5 which in normal case most of us already knows what we really want in our life except for me la of course.
So what do i actually want in my life? Well lets see if you talk about fame the first thing that came into my mind is what for having fame when i prefer to live peacefully? The fact is since i am being brought up in a well-educated family and being the only grandson and the youngest of the family its really hard to answer as i usually get what i want(pampered child). I remember my sister asked me this question last time after i got my PMR result which i did badly of course that what do i really want in my life? whats the purpose of studying?. She asked me to think properly during bedtime and tell her the answer the next morning which both of us forgot about it of course(FAIL!) but not until last week where i realised i got lectured 5 times in that week! somehow that question just popped out in my mind.
What do i really want in my life? What am i finding/looking for in my life?? Do i plan to be a loser/dumbass or instead i plan to be a successful person???. Speaking about that, me being brought up by a well-educated family is definitely not easy as the pressure on me is enornimous as all my cousins and uncles are all PURE SCIENCE students except for me who is the only dumb-dumb being in ARTS STREAM. The fact is i had been carrying the "underachiver" tag through my life until i didnt realise how dumb i am compare to my cousins.
So what exactly am i looking for in life? Do i want a career? or do i want a beautiful and cherishable wife? or do i want a happy and heart-warming family where i can always go back after work knowing that my wife and kids will be at home waitng for my return to have dinner with them eating the food cooked by my wonderfull wife (how i wish) or do i just wana live a happy life being single and play around with girls? or do i just wana be continueing being an ASSHOLE humiliating the family? This are te things that had gone through my mind but still the answer is I DONT KNOW. I even did a "mini survey" within a few of my friends, some of them wanted money(rich) some of them wanted fame, some of them even wanted an easy-going life. Well i have to say all of this mean NOTHING to me at ALL as i dont find these things important to me. Not long ago , i asked God what exactly i want in my life? what exactly am i searching for??? now when i come to think back i realised that its meaningless to ask God because He is not us althought He is the one that understands us the most but still how we gona walk our "path" is all in our hands as God is just the one that guide us as we walking through the "path". I remember there is a malay saying "pukul dada tanya selera" noone but ourself knows what exactly we are finding for in life.
Well not until when i realised what exactly i want in life i think i will still be the same person i am now(which i am). Only time will tells as i find out what exactly i want in life well until then. Bye bye
God bless you
No comments:
Post a Comment